Encouraged, or should I say “cajoled”, by Joe Borges, I prepared a piece about my journey with Acquired Brain Injury. Joe plays a key role in my acceptance of the diagnosis. Amongst others through his podcast with Laura Manzano and in contact with his international group of fellow sufferers, I have grown and become increasingly able to support myself, despite my limitations.

I threw myself into the project for the Brain, Body and Soul Fest, which would take place at the end of 2023. I asked myself: “What actually tells my story, and what aspect would help increase awareness of a general audience?”. A deeply symbolic study about the sea and jellyfish later, I decided to drop that and start at the beginning. 

My first brain injury  was due to a bike accident in Norway. Norway is logical start for a painting. It is certainly not the first or the last painting featuring Norway! After second accident which aggravated the issues I struggled with, I was in a dark place and did not receive the medical support to get out of it easily. They literally made me “swim on my own”. Have you ever read or listened to “A Lesson in Swimming” by Michael Shutt? I love swimming, but this was definitely not a fun experience. That deep darkness I felt made me think of either a midsummer or a midwinter night for my painting. A somewhat grey, dark sky was the first step. The many photos and memories from that time gave me plenty of inspiration…

In my deepest depths, my grandmother’s statement “I’m still here, so there is still a task waiting for me”, was an enormous support. Despite two serious accidents, loss of strength, concentration and the future I’d envisioned for myself, I was still here. What were the bright spots that I could find and what is the task that still lies ahead of me? That dark sky needed stars and a little bit of sunlight near the horizon! But my path was not clear to me. A low mountain range to hide the horizon… With the depth that you also find at “Autumn in Utah”, because who knows what adventures await me when I reach the other side of the water?

Fortunately, I no longer have to swim the entire stretch alone or even in one go. Do you see the island? A resting point with “happy little trees” and, according to Bob Ross, they are never alone! And that goes for me too: I have a group other survivors and thrivers around me who can help and support me! As long as I put my mind to it, I can see little points of light everywhere. I’m convinced you can too.

If you wish to watch me paint, you can! I’ve made a video of the process for the Brain, Body and Soul Fest. It contains an introduction and an English voice over. 

Don’t give up, and don’t give in. There is always light, somewhere!